Millennial parenting : dealing with toddler tantrums
Have you ever been judged because of your parenting style? Met questioning eyes whenever your toddler throws tantrums because you didn’t buy her a toy? Or simply because you let your child use a gadget so you can have a peaceful dinner?
It is because our style may not be parallel with theirs. We do know the fact that parenting is not a walk in the park, don’t we?
We have heard our mom’s qualms and even tried to mimic their endless nags.
So, how do we keep up with the so-called generation Z when we were raised with conventional parenting style. It comes with great effort. There maybe thousands of parenting guides available within a click but one’s experience will always be different from the other.
Sometimes, it makes me wonder how different parenting is today. What we experience growing up is far behind what we are expected to be as millennial parents.
Below tips are from my own experience, I cannot say for sure that this will work with your little one but you can give it a try.
- First and foremost, be very very patient.
Remember, patience is a virtue. Always keep calm even if it’s the last thing you wanna do at the moment. Breathe in before you decide on what to do. Do understand that kids today are much more independent, they wanna do things on their own (as early as 2 years old 😂). Keeping them away from what they want will only trigger tantrums. Gone are the days when hard stare is enough to make your child behave nicely. Best thing to do? Ignore the tantrums. Not your child mommy, just the tantrum. Just stay right beside her and wait out.
- Let your child cry out her frustration.
Yes, don’t stop your child from crying. For whatever reason that she’s crying, for her that’s valid and it’s a big deal. According to a child psychology book I’ve read, telling your child to stop crying will only make her cry more. Why? Because she thinks that you don’t understand and acknowledge her feelings.
- Know when to execute “time-outs”.
This may sound like a contrary to my first two tips but you know, we’ll all run out of patience sooner if not later. When you have tried everything, exhausted your “unlimited” patience but still it didn’t up so well, it’s time to step up and impose reasonable limits.
- Reward good deeds.
Some may say that rewarding your well behaved child is not a good idea, but for me it is and somehow, it works. Few bites of her favorite chocolate or ice cream perhaps? Enthusiastic praises like “Good job!” and “Well done!” also helps.
- Let your child decide and do certain things on her own.
Sometimes, I feel that my child is disobedient, but when I think about it I realized that she just wants to practice her independence. Yes, at such an early age.
Giving her options fuels her decision making. Best way to start is by letting her choose what dress to wear (she may want to wear a summer dress in a cold weather or a sweater on a hot afternoon, but yeah, be prepared).
Letting her eat on her own would also help, even if it means messy table, these simple things lessens the argument and tantrums.
- Allow gadget time for an hour a day.
You wouldn’t want your kid to be left out in this high tech generation. You’ll never know, you may be raising a vlogger. Kids nowadays are techies than their own parents. Remember, moderation is the key.
However you deal with your toddler’s tantrums, don’t judge yourself as a parent. We all learn by doing, as there is no such thing as perfect parenting.