Sibling Rivalry, Keeping a Peaceful Home

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Admit it parents. It can be frustrating and stressful to watch your kids shout, and sometimes, hurt each other when they fight. Imagine, you are a working parent like me, excited to get home after a long tiring day only to see them crying over a scratch or bruise. How do you really help them get along? I, for one, am not an expert on this but over the years managed to lessen if not totally put an end to sibling rivalry, keeping a peaceful home. 

Why Siblings Fight 

  • Fighting usually occurs after my kids are keeping their cool for long like a day at school, playing with friends outside our home, attending Sunday mass. Or any day when they are controlling their temper and staying calm for a fair amount of time. The prim-and-proper BFFs turn into monsters ready to eat the other once they get home. 🤣
  • They just ignite when they are too tired and too hungry, who wouldn’t? 😜
  • My youngest is outgoing, sociable and independent. While my eldest is clingy, reserved and drawn to us, her parents most of the time. The eldest usually gets more because of her personality although both seek love and attention thus, sometimes the cause of sibling arguments.
  • My eldest is a crybaby and sensitive while my youngest is strong and aggressive so imagine one toy, one dress, one pair of shoes, one chocolate bar, one gadget. Such a perfect combination for sibling rivalry.

Interventions and Peace Talks

  • Do not take sides. Believe me, it will make the situation worse. Ask them what happened (in a very calm manner – and with the greatest virtue, patience, I am running short of 😁 ). Let them say sorry to each other if you cannot decide because both say something against the other. Kids forgive easily.
  • Separate them especially when it gets physical and let them cry then wait until they are feeling better. Talk to them separately and play if you were in her shoes. Ask them how they would feel if the other gets hurt. They listen for a day or two, 😅 so regular talks help.
  • I am guilty of buying the same thing for both because I thought it would prevent them from fighting but wait until the other one gets broken. 😳 Yep! Sharing is the key! Taking turns and making them agree on something will help.

What to Do To Keep the Peace

  • Travel. I notice when we travel, they never argue and seems to love the other dearly. When they have all the attention of their parents, having the time of their life, they seem to forget the conflicts. Check out some of our posts here for your next family travel and family get-away.
  • We agreed to no shouting, no slamming of doors, foot-stomping and getting physical, but of course, you need to remind them always.
  • What applies to other may not be applicable to other child because
    every person is unique. I let my eldest take my hand when taking a walk, but my youngest, when it is safe, walk alone a little far from me. My youngest wants to play outside all day while my eldest enjoy indoor; playing with her toys, reading and watching her favorite show. Discover your kids’ individuality and let them do their own thing.
  • I do not know what suits for your kids but I am done with all the punishments. Rewarding is much easier and it works. If I ask them to have peaceful playtime, they can request for their favorite food. We will go for a swim if they manage not to shout and share toys for a week or two.
  • Give them all your love and attention; keep them in good shape, stomach full, well rested, listen to them blabber unimportant things so they will feel important, let them feel safe and secure.

Patience, momma, dada! I know I am not a good role model but the no-shouting rule applies to all family members. Do not intervene when you are tired and hungry too, ask the other parent if he or she can handle the situation. Deep breath, inhale, exhale. 😃 You can do it!   

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