Surviving (and Struggling) as a Single Working Mom

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Being a single parent is very difficult and raising a child alone is quite expensive. Thus they give up own personal needs and make sacrifices just to provide a better and comfortable life for their child. A single parent may feel submerged by the responsibility of juggling child care, maintaining a job and keeping up with the bills and household chores. I asked my colleague, a single mom, to share her story.

You are a single mom and a working mother, how do you do it?

I am single mom with a 3-year-old son. I have been separated with my ex-husband for 3 years now. From here, you can know by now that I have raised my son without a man in my life. To be honest, being a single-working mom is hard as hell.

However, the willingness to provide the best life for my son motivates me to work hard and do good as a normal employee. The motivation of being a single mom simply drives me to always move forward. I have only one goal in life, to be the best mom to my son.

I am happy and contented in the current job that I have, because in my current company, work-and-life balance is well exercised. Being in a regular shift basis and with no work on Saturdays and Sundays, allow me to have more time with my son.

I am of high appreciation as well that my parents and my sister have become my backbone since I became a single mom. My parents are taking care of my son and that gives me an ease of heart and mind that my son is safe and in good hands at all times while I am at work.

What is your biggest struggle as a single parent?

I was raised by my parents as a strong, independent woman, that in as much as I can, I am facing and surpassing life’s challenges by my own. But my personality and perspective in life have switched dramatically when I had my son. It consumed me ironically that there are times I feel like in heaven and drowning in quicksand as well.

My son was born pre-matured, 8months, and has been confined in NICU for 2 weeks. Going through all the challenges of being a single mom and handling all problems by myself are killing me physically, psychologically, emotionally, and financially.

Biggest struggle as a single parent is providing all good things for my son…alone… so as to say, financial struggle. All moms will agree, that we only wish and try as hard as we can to provide what’s the best for our kids, whether I will end up going to all ukay-ukay to buy my dresses, and allocating 500 pesos for my 1 month work meal, just to make sure that all other finances are allocated for the betterment of my son and including finances at home.

What’s good at the end of the day is that, even if it is so hard to be a sole provider, seeing my son growing well, enjoying being a kid, nurturing as a sweet and loveable boy, and when I am back home from work, my son hugging me and saying “I love you mama” are more than enough to tap myself that I know I am financially suffering, but I am a damn great mom.

Who are the people who make up your support system?

My family and my son. Since the time that I got separated from my ex-husband and I had my baby, my parents had decided to live with me to take care of my son, while my sister and my brother-in-law have been very supportive morally and sometimes financially.

They helped me, and until now helping me, with my decisions, and redirecting me if needed. It is just so self-depriving that the strong-independent person I had portrayed for my entire life will be begging for help and understanding but it is what it is, things happen for a reason.

Whether we like it or not, problems, challenges and uncertainties are part of our lives and we can’t avoid it from happening and the least we can do is to face it, surpass or neglect, then nothing more but to move life forward because I have a son who is depending on me.

But that’s the essence of the hell I’ve been, to know that at the end of the day, its my family who I can always lean on and will never turn their backs away from me. And my innocent son, he is motivating me and driving my life without him knowing. However bad the situation is, my family and my son are my strong support system to literally make me breathe and move forward.

What is your favorite part about being a single parent?

Feeling the love of my son and seeing him grow as a loveable child – these are making me whole as a person and ensuring that I am a good mom. Struggling and trying are hard, but seeing that somehow everything is in good place, and my son is in good condition, that makes me feel accomplished as a single parent.

Will you give love a second chance?

I am a person who always believes in second chances and never try to put period on my words. I have been with my ex-husband for 16 years and just ended to be a failed relationship. But what I have learned on my life’s experiences is that we can never tell what will happen next – yes, we can potentially foresee, but how the things will lead me and how life will be tomorrow will still be uncertain.

With what I have been through, I still believe in destiny and that God has molded better life for me that is about to be foretold. Nevertheless, whatever my decision in life will be, my son will always and forever be in the most consideration, because he is the only man in my life now that is the center of my love anyways.

With all that happened on my life, I am still of highest grace and glory to the Lord for without Him, I wont have my son, I wont have the support of my family, I wont have my work and wont be able to surpass these things, and I wont be breathing now to answer these great questions. 😊

I was Lomie yesterday. I am Lomie today. And will still be Lomie tomorrow.

Yes, I have failed marriage. Yes, I am a single-working mom. And I am damn proud of it.

Cheers!

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Aileen Joy Flores
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