Why is date night important in your married life?

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When was the last time you ever went out on a date with your partner since you got married and had kids? I mean, just the two of you? Most of you would say no or very seldom, like once in a blue moon.

Well, yeah. It makes sense. You want your kids to be the center of your relationship. You want to make everything about the kids. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. New parents may have tiring days and literally sleepless nights.

So, who would want to go out when all you wanna do is take a rest (given a chance)? Answer is, you! Yes, you.

Despite the tiring work week, it is a must that you find time to spend a date night with your partner. Remember, you and your partner’s happiness is as important as your child’s happiness.

Don’t get me wrong fellas, I don’t mean that your child can’t give you happiness. Surely, they can. But, it is a fact, that with all the  drastic changes in your married life, you do deserve to take a break and enjoy a movie night out and perhaps a glass of wine.

One of the key in a blissful family life is to have a perfect balance of your time between your partner and your child. That’s a fact!

I fully agree on this. We must never forget that we are not just parents, we are partners as well. Date night helps with the communication and is an essential element of an intimate relationship. Actually, it doesn’t have to be a date night, it can also be a date day.

According to Couples Therapy Inc., date night is a typically pre-planned evening when committed couples carves out some time for themselves. Its definition includes a sense of leaving the ordinary realm of daily experience. In short, date nights are special and out of the ordinary.

Importance of Date nights by Couples Therapy Inc.

  • Communication. Yes you should communicate as often as possible but the peaceful and heartfelt communication over a romantic dinner is pretty much different from your daily conversation. “Communication is like a muscle. Sometimes you plan your communication workouts”.
  • Novelty. Couples typically experience an habituation, a “settling in” quality where both are more likely to take each other for granted. A balance of activities, interesting to both, which emphasizes novel and different experiences can help increase intimacy.
  • Let’s Do it. Romantic love is that erotic spark, excitement and overwhelming sense of attraction to your significant other. But with time, the emotional and physical expression of erotic love tend to fade. Couple’s goal should be to keep the fire burnin’. With date nights, you completely focus on your connection and the spark may be restored. Imagine when you dine face to face with each other, it may actually be the only time you get to look more closely to your partner.
  • De-stress. Couples that have regular date nights maintain a connection through intimate conversation and emotional support which lowers the stress on their own, as well as their partners.
  • Abiding relationship commitment. Date night simply builds attachment.  When you experience the  commitment of your partner, your sense of being firmly attached will provide you with stable and deeply satisfying relationship.

Remember the days when you were just girlfriend/boyfriend? When you used to do everything just to be able to go on a date. Every single date was so exciting back then. So, what’s the difference now that you’re married? Nothing. Courting stage doesn’t stop when you get married. Nor when you have kids.

What to do on a date night/day?

  • Visit a place you’ve never been to. Traveling is a kind of date day you should try
  • Eat at a restaurant you’ve never eaten before or eat at your favorite restaurant. Either way, what is important is the time you spent together
  • Listen to sweet and lovely music in a bar
  • Go to a spa. Having a couple massage (ask for a couple room in the spa) adds up to the intimacy
  • Watch a romantic movie

These are but just few ideas. You of all people should know what your partner wants and what will make him/her happy. I do think date nights at home are actually romantic, not to mention less expensive and more private. That is, if you can have an alone time at home.

Ailen Tomas
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